The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
