okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
drinking out of a sandbucket again
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
