Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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