16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
