I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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