You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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