; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
