You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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