Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
