He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
