Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
