Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
