yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
