fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
