Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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