Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
