i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
