Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
