I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
