I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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