Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
