As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
