I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
