I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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