Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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