Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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