Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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