wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
