The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
