i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
