Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
