if you like me you must not know who I am
Buhtt sex?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
