I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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