dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
