Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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