Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
