i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
