Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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