I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
