The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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