would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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