Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
