so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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