yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
