3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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