I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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