yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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