We're facebook friends in real life
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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