I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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