I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
