im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
