I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
