Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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