OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
